Does Hinata Stalk Naruto?
by Rainpop Sunshine
Summary: Does Hinata stalk Naruto? Why do the Uchihas use fans? How does Neji keep his hair so shiny? These questions...and more, are all answered here! And you can ask every question you've ever had! Total crack.
1. Does Hinata stalk Naruto?

Whee! Welcome, welcome my children.

I do not own any characters here.

Chapter 1: **Does Hinata Stalk Naruto?**

Welcome, welcome, my children…er…people.

Here, I CAN ANSWER EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR QUESTIONS!

OH YEAH!

So, anyway (cough) I'll continue. Welcome! Wait, I said that already. I meant, come on in and get all the answers you need.

Warning: all the answers are most likely completely untrue and insanely weird.

Question: Does Hinata Stalk Naruto?

Answer: Hell yeah.

* * *

"Hinata!" 

Hinata wheeled around to find her teammate, Kiba, standing near her. Akamaru barked.

"H-hello, Kiba-kun." she responded.

"Hi," responded the loudmouth. "Where are you going?"

"Home." she replied, a little uneasy. She never liked it at home, there was a lot of pressure: from her father, Hanabi, especially Neji, who just seemed to BE there. That was scary. No, it wasn't. He was just there, and he was a genius, and she was a lowly heiress of the main house. Don't ask why it's lowly though.

Kiba grinned. "Hinata, do you like Naruto?"

"Huh?" Hinata felt her face flush rapidly, and Kiba saw her face as a ripe tomato. He laughed.

"HAHAHAHA!!" Now he was laughing really hard and Akamaru barked for him to stop. You see, Hinata's poor face was hot and REALLY REALLY red. "Sorry," he grinned again. "I was a little nervous that you might of liked Sasuke, and that would make me really upset."

Hinata sighed with relief. She thought since Kiba had lost to Naruto, maybe he would have been upset. But he seemed fine, so she was happy.

"Thank you, Kiba-kun." she responded, before hurrying off.

5 seconds later, it seemed Kiba would die laughing.

* * *

As Hinata was passing by though, she saw Naruto walking. Was he walking home? Was he buying something? Was he training? Was he going out with another girl? 

The last comment made Hinata nervous, so she decided to follow him, just to make sure.

Yeah right.

The first thing she saw was him going into the woods. Could he be training? Could he be going out with another girl in the woods?

The last comment made Hinata nervous, so she decided to follow him, just to make sure.

"Naruto, you're late," Sasuke stated…Sasuke-ish.

"Naruto, are you catching Kakashi-sensei's disease?" asked Sakura.

"Sorry." muttered Naruto.

Hinata watched, and watched, and WATCHED. For about an hour.

and hour and a half.

and hour and 30 minutes.

Finally:

"Your aim is off."

"Yeah," Naruto responded. "Maybe I should go see that Tenten girl."

The other two nodded as to say, "no kidding."

But HINATA was nervous.

I mean, Naruto was probably asking advice, since Tenten has perfect aim and all, but what if he could be…secretly going out with her?

The last comment made Hinata nervous, so she decided to follow him, just to make sure.

"Ah! Neji, fuzzy brows! and uh…Tenten, right?"

The three looked at him strangely.

"Yes." Tenten responded.

Naruto inwardly patted himself on the back. "Uh, Tenten, my aim is off, can you help me?"

The three looked at him strangely again, then Tenten went over to him while Lee and Neji continued to train.

"Show me how you throw."

Naruto threw a kunai. Five seconds later they heard a small sound. The knife, which SHOULD have hit a target, hit a tree 6 feet AWAY from the target.

"You have the right posture."

"And?"

"You have the right method."

"And?"

"You seem like you're aiming."

"And?"

"Are you even aiming at the target?"

Naruto whistled and took a step back. "WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME I HAVE TO GO HOME BYE."

He was really running home.

But HINATA was nervous. He could just be tired. Or he could be hungry. Or he could just want to shower. BUT THEN AGAIN, HE COULD HAVE BEEN MEETING A GIRL THERE.

And you know what?

The last comment made Hinata nervous, so she decided to follow him, just to make sure.

No girl, he was going straight into bed. He COULD have been tired. But then again, he COULD HAVE BEEN meeting a girl there, then have some HAWT sex in there.

The last comment made Hinata nervous, so she decided to follow him, just to make sure.

And that day was normal. Hinata went back to her house and went to sleep.

But then the next day, she woke up, just to the thought of:

Naruto could be training. Naruto could be eating. Naruto could have been doing any other thing than-

-GOING OUT WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN HINATA THAT DAY.

Guess what?

The last comment made Hinata nervous, so she decided to follow him, just to make sure.

* * *

Did you like it? I would take suggestions, but I don't really get any reviews from people, so…you know. 

Next chapter (If I decide to continue this): Why the fan? (Little Sasuke)


	2. Why the fans?

Alright, after much debating, I have decided to just keep on going with this fic. I hope people realize there's a chapter 2 on this one though. If anyone has a question they want to ask, put it in your review or pm me. I'll be happy to do it.

On with the story!

Question: Why do the Uchihas use fans?

Answer: Er…doesn't Uchiha mean fan?

* * *

"Niisan! Train with me!"

"No, Sasuke, I have important things to do."

Sasuke frowned. No, not "I'm going to kick your ass because I'm an avenger" Sasuke. I mean the adorable little Sasuke that keeps getting his forehead flicked. But he is so cute, so I had to do this!

Itachi sighed.

"Not today Sasuke, maybe another time."

Sasuke made a cute little pouting face, and walked forward a little, intent on getting Itachi to train with him.

"Please?"

A hand automatically came up and flicked Sasuke on the forehead. He rubbed it slightly and pouted again.

"You're a mean brother!" he yelled before tears welled in his eyes.

Uh oh.

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

Guilt trip.

"Okay, Sasuke." he said finally giving in, "you can train with me today."

"YAY!"

Sasuke bounded out the door with glee. He started dashing through the house to find all his training materials. (whoa, Rudolph moment)

Immediately Itachi felt like he was making a bad decision. Who knows, that might have been the first step to murdering a clan.

* * *

In the Akasuki headquarters…

Itachi sneezed suddenly.

"Someone must be talking about my murdering the clan…" he said.

"It's okay," said a mysterious voice. "Anything you do will always be sexy to me."

"You're right, Kisame."

* * *

"No, Sasuke, you hold the shuriken like THIS."

"Like this?"

"NO."

After a LOOOOONNNNGGGGGG, **_EXHAUSTING, _**day for ITACHI, he finally had peace at last.

Sasuke was panting heavily, after finally hitting the target, no, not the bullseye, the target. Numerous times he had hit the trees and stuff surrounding the target. But not that last time, no sir. He had hit it! (the 5th ring of the target)

Oh well.

On the way home, Itachi finally carried Sasuke piggy back style across the Uchiha village area. He pointed out the police station, like he did everyday, when suddenly…

"Itachi, why the fan?"

"What?

"I mean, why the fans? They're just…girlish."

"Okay, Sasuke." sighed Itachi, finally placing him down by a bench. "Here's the deal. I tell you the story, and you don't bother me for the rest of the week."

Genius.

"OKAY!"

"Good."

"_Once upon a time…"_

"Why do all stories start with once upon a time?"

"One question at a time, Sasuke."

Itachi cleared his throat.

"_Once upon a time," _Itachi waited for the question, but there was silence. _"There was a young princess from the…fan clan."_

"Hey, that rhymes!"

"Yes, Sasuke, it rhymes."

"_And, there was a young man from the clan we don't really want to talk about because it isn't relevant to the story."_

"What was that clan's name?"

"Please be quiet, Sasuke, I'm trying to tell the story."

"_Anyway, they fell in love with each other at first sight and eloped. The end."_

"I still don't get why we use fans."

There was a pause. "Just because." finished Itachi. "Just because…"

* * *

So, the real reason they have fans as their symbol? We'll never know.

Sorry for the short chapter! I tried to get this one done really fast, so I did this in like 5 minutes.

So, see ya later! Come up with some questions, 'kay?

Next chapter: How does Neji get his hair so shiny?


End file.
